Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
