It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
smell my finger.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
