I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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