you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
