trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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