I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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