i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
