Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
