I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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