My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
