Yo dont text me then not text me
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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