we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
