she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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