i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
