Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
