This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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