Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
