Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I puked a lego.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
