So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
operation harelip BJ is a go
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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