I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
