can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
