I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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