and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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