Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
