Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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