I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Text me some of your sweat
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