I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
