We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
