I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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