in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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