he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
