let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
