god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
