she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
