I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
