I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
