I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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