you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
