I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
