Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
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