my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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