Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Randomize
