Can Purell be used as lube?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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