check it out our google latitudes are spooning
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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