i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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