Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
