When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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