Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I AM VODKA MAN
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize