someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
