so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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