Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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