maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
handjob tips. give me some.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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