the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
