just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
