Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
