I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize