when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
