he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
