It's Friday. Sex?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
