I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize