How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
