In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
