i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
