Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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