that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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