I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize