i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
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