worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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