Your face is a jimmy john
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
