Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
