that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
im holly from the hills drunk
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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