So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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