how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
