I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
