if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
