Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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