I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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