So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
