i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
