The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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