so explain again why im purple
no
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
